Great Chishill FC

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Ian Gallagher
Position: Goalkeeper
Lookalike: Ed DeGoey
Most likely to say: “Russ we’re selling you to Orwell”.

Ian Gallagher joined Chishill when he was twelve years old and has since seen many ups and downs over the years, and is one of the most experienced players in the dressing room. His long, loyal service to the club saw him rewarded, after the fence end was renamed the “Ian Gallagher Stand”, at the start of his testimonial year. He also has a goal to his credit, notching a penalty against Fowlmere, and after making approximately 2,473 appearances, was finally handed the coveted role of Club-Captain. He likes to roll around in the mud, and enjoys friendly banter with the Goat End supporters when he gets bored.

Jay Wiltshire
Position: Forward/Goalkeeper
Most likely: To be constantly smiling

Jay is another plumber within the football club (as if there wasn’t enough already), and made an impressive start to the season, and came off the bench to score on his first team debut. You can always hear him coming thanks to his childishly amusing car-horns. He also enjoys the occasional game of Monopoly. There is a dark side to Jay though, as it was revealed part way through the season that he could also play in goal, and subsequently helped the Reserves to their first point in the league.

Jason Pallett
Position: Goalkeeper
Nickname: Safe-Ting

Signed pre-season to keep goal for the newly formed Reserves, he made a good early impression by saving a penalty on his debut. Always confident around the box, he can even predict that the ball is going to hit the post before a player has shot, giving him his now infamous nickname. A sports nut, he is hoping to compete in 7 different competitions at the 2012 Olympics.

Mark Burrows
Position: Defence
Nickname: Buzz
Lookalike: Timbaland
Most likely to say (sing): “Is it going is it going is it going is it going, I don’t know what you’re looking for….”

Another excellent utility player who can play anywhere across the back four. Buzz has previously had spells at Royston Town, Royston Town Reserves, Royston Town Youth, Fowlmere, QPR and MK Dons, before deciding his future belonged to Chishill. He also has a hugely successful music career, and has performed with the likes of Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake and 50 Cent, but has so far refused to produce an official Great Chishill FC record

James Bennett
Position: Defence/Midfield

A summer 07 signing, James has been a strong addition to the squad. Another one of the many Chishill players who have served time at HC (Hotel Chocolat) Prison Royston. A sublime dancer (apparently) and is in talks to appear in the next series of Stricty Come Dancing. Good luck James!
He joined from Litlington and in his first press conference at his new club, said “I’ve always wanted to play for a huge club, now’s my chance.”

 

 

 

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Jamie Dunsden
Position: Defence
Nicknames: Moobs, Gypsy
Most likely to say: “Hang on…”
Least likely to say: “My goal against Bassingbourn was a complete fluke”

Although a reliable and solid centre-back, Jamie has found it hard to secure a regular starting place, because he is also a brilliant millionaire businessman, who can therefore afford a Chelsea season ticket. The other half of the famous Gibbo/Dunsden Chishill singing duo, they hope to release their first single this Christmas, and are being hailed as the ‘new Robson and Jerome’ by many music critics. His company’s name is proudly written on Chishill’s dazzling yellow Nike shirts.

Oli Gardiner
Position: Defence
Nickname: Chuck
Most likely to say: “eeeeeeeeeeeee”

Oli had never played competitive football before he joined Chishill when he was 21. Initially playing as a striker, he often came off the bench to score, becoming Chishill’s first ‘super-sub’. In his later years, as his legs started to creak, he converted to a no-nonsense defender, alongside his partner in crime, Dan. Known as a true gentleman both on and off the field, he has also volunteered to be the new first-aider, with the hope of giving mouth to mouth to many of his team-mates. A Chishill lad through and through, who first coined the notorious Chi’die war cry.

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Paul Gibson
Position: Defence
Nickname: Gibbo
Most likely to say: “It used to be about the music/are you going down the ‘Cuda?”

Paul ‘Gibbo’ Gibson joined during season 2004/05, and has proved to be a useful utility player. Capable of doing a job anywhere in the back four, or a holding role in midfield, he is also an expert penalty taker. Last season saw him form the Chishill choir on the terraces, alongside his and lover, Jamie Dunsden. This season however his performances have been few and far between, as he pursues his career ripping off vulnerable first-time-buyers in the estate agency world. His ambition is to appear on BBC1’s Rogue Traders.

Tom Guerrero
Position: Defence
Lookalikes: Stingray from Neighbours
Nickname: G-Unit

A Barley boy who has ‘done a Sol’ and come to play for his local rivals, he made a dream start to the season, when due to lack of players available, turned out for the Reserves and scored an early contender for Goal of the Season. Although in recent years he has pursued his basketball dream not his football one, he still shows glimpses of the potential star he once promised to – and could still be.

 

 

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Dan Hicks
Position: Defence
Lookalikes: A tomato

After loyally running the line for two seasons with Chishill, he finally became old enough to sign on for the team, and has settled into the Reserves back four comfortably. Despite being one of the youngest in the squad, he has huge physical strength and big things are expected from him. When he’s not playing football you can usually hear him tearing up the peaceful roads of Chishill on his funky moped. Doubts still remain over his intelligence as he is rarely spotted without his Liverpool shirt.

 

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Andy Knight
Position: Defence
Nickname: Knighty

Another new addition to the squad, his strength as a player unfortunately limited to limited appearances due to running his own successful company, (even on Saturdays). All is not lost for him though as he won Richard Branson’s ‘Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award’ twice before the age of 11.

Jamie Lombari
Position: Defence/Midfield
Most likely to say: “This is a £5 note…”

Another new signing, Lombari has impressed in the early stages of his Chishill career, with some excellent performances at centre back. His chances of holding a regular place were threatened by his Saturday job at Tesco. Thankfully, he has moved onto an illustrious career as a financial advisor, and enjoys showing people his office and desk on nights out in Royston. So if you need advice on how to spend your money (take money out pocket, hand to shopkeeper etc), Jamie’s the man to speak to.

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Dan Manning
Position: Defence
Nickname: Man Danning
Most likely to: Fall out with a urinal/toilet/picture frame/any non-living object

Dan broke into the reserve team at the age of 14, and had served as captain, manager and assistant manager all by the age of 22. His early years were dogged by injury and discipline problems, but although doubts about his fitness continue, he has calmed down his temperament to become the rock in central defence. The son of former Goats’ goalkeeper, Nigel “The Cat” Manning, he has also served as goalkeeper in Ian’s absence. He is known to get a little over excited if he manages to score a goal, especially if it’s the winning penalty in a shoot-out.

Rick Rogers
Position: Defence
Lookalike: Harry Hill

Probably Chishill’s most experienced and longest serving player alongside Ian, and still going strong despite being even older than Steve McGee (an achievement in itself). Won Manager’s Player in 2006 but then struggled to make an impact in 2006/07 as fruits of Chishill’s youth academy began to break through. He has also regularly featured on BBC1’s Rogue Traders as he is frequently caught botching up people’s plumbing and then legging it.

 

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Mark Thompson
Position: Defence
Nickname: Tommo

Tommo grew up in Chishill and went on to play for the Reserves and First team during the 90’s, as well as serving as club secretary before departing for Stapleford at the turn of the Millennium. Now in his twighlight years, he has returned to take some of the younger Reserve players under his wing and is a vital experienced figure in Nick Bramwell’s team.

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Shaun Wilson
Position: Defence/midfield
Nickname: The Hoff or Psycho
Lookalikes: Shrek
Least likely to say: “I pulled a nice bird last night”

The Hoff’ enjoys a cult following from the Chishill supporters, largely due to his versatility and aggressive, competitive attitude. A tremendous clubman, he has helped out by playing in goal, but has also notched a couple of goals coming off the bench as well. Legend has it that he can kill a man just by looking at him, but the truth is he’s just a loveable soul, who is still fighting for Jono’s love in the Gary/Shaun/Jonathan love triangle. He is also a qualified referee, and has been touted as the next Graham Poll. God help us. More recently he has developed a habit of picking up ‘big-boned’ girls on the way home from the Barracuda.

Nick Bramwell
Position: Midfield

Nick first joined Chishill when his brother Tony managed the reserves, he made a return to the Chishill line-up when manager of the new Chishill team, John Drury chatted him up in The Pheasant. He became an instant success at left-back, but this season has found success in midfield for the Reserves, who he also courageously manages. He is well-known for his courage when it comes to penalty shoot-outs, generously volunteering to take one (as long as it’s number 11). He has become an unlikely contender for this season’s golden boot, surging ahead in the early weeks.

 

Dave Caughtry
Position: Midfield

Along with Tommo, Dave has returned to his old club to bring much needed experience to a young side. A gifted footballer, Chishill’s youngsters will do well to achieve what Dave has done at Chishill in his glory years during the 90’s.

 

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Elliot Drury
Position: Midfield
Least likely to say: “I’m allowed out tonight.”

Like the rest of the Drury posse, Elliot has played for the club since the age of 14. Once nicknamed Mr Quiet in a club programme, you cannot shut him up these days. His strong, powerful midfield play is often overlooked, but his unspectacular style is often the foundation for many Chishill victories. Strong in the air, and with a powerful left foot shot, he has left his wild drinking days behind him. He is now happily married, with an eight bedroom house, four cars and a helicoptor, having made his first million as a bricklayer when he was just 17.

   

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Tom Fagg
Position: Winger
Lookalike: Mark Robbins

Being a young squad member, appearances were difficult to make last season, but has comfortably slotted into the Reserves. His lightning pace and skill, coupled with hard-work will ensure he has a big future with the club. Experts say he would be three times the speed that he is if he wasn’t restricted by a parachute effect of wearing an extra large football shirt, on his tiny frame.

 

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Oli Fitzgerald
Position: Midfield/Winger
Nickname: Fitz

A quiet and no-nonsense player who brings flair to Chishill’s attack. Arriving at the start of 2006/07, it was not long before he was comfortably holding a place in the side. He can contribute many goals from midfield, but his more spectacular goals seem to be reserved for the Jolly Boys on Sunday. He puts this down to ‘being so hungover I don’t know what to do with the ball so I just blast it’.

 

 

 

 

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Lee Gilkes
Position: Midfield

Lee is now in his 74th spell with Chishill, having also given his services to Stapleford, Whittlesford and Jolly Boys. A hard tackling midfielder with an eye for goal, Lee is one of the more experienced members of the Reserves. He can also be seen on Rogue Traders, usually mending people’s plumbing after Rick Rogers has buggered it up. Also useful in goal.

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Jonathan Hodge
Position: Midfield
Lookalike: Andy Roddick

Jonathan is according to many the better looking of the Hodge brothers, although choosing between them is like trying to decide who is the better looking Neville. He came through Chishill’s Youth Academy at the same time as Jonathan Drury. He is comfortable both on the wing and up front, and has an excellent scoring record for a midfielder. As he is currently on loan at Cardiff City, he instantly becomes eligible for Wales’ national team, and was rumoured to be tipped for an international call-up very soon. His chances were thrown into disarray however, when he got “I hate the Welsh” tattooed on his shoulders, at the end of yet another drinking binge.

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Alex Porter
Position: Forward
Nickname: Ali P

Ali signed on at the start of the 2007/08 and has brought skill and pace to Chishill’s forward line. A quiet player who gets on with the job, Ali will be hoping to add more goals to his game this season, to put the finishing touch to his fine build-up play.

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Gary Radford
Position: Winger
Nickname: Gimp
Most likely to say: “For f****s sake lads!”
Least likely to say: “My round.”

Our majorette parade-loving famous Gimp boy is possibly the quickest member of the squad, in terms of pace as well as temper. A member of Chishill’s youth academy, he his a menacing threat on the wing. Acts as Jonathan’s stand-in boyfriend if Shaun is unavailable. He gave up his career as a chef when Delia Smith threatened to kill him, and now earns a living as a bricklayer.

 

Colin Seward
Position: Defence/midfield
Nickname: Roll
Least likely to say: Anything nasty, controversial

Colin joined this season, as he decided to jump from long-term rivals Orwell’s sinking ship and join a team on the up – but settled on Chishill. He is quiet off the pitch, as well as on it, but is a huge presence and a very cool customer either in central defence or midfield.
You could say there isn’t a bad word to say about him. Oh and he’s a Spurs season-ticket holder, oh well, as near as dammit.

 

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Luke Tyler
Position: Midfield
Most likely to: take a free-kick/penalty/corner
Lookalike: Some dude from McFly

Luke was a valuable addition to our midfield during 2006/07, with his fine range of passing and shooting ability, leading some pundits to describe him as ‘the next Frank Lampard’. Despite a tapping-up scandal involving Royston Town, he committed his future to The Goats……… before trekking the world and working as a part-time football pundit on Australian television. We hope to see him in a Chishill shirt again one day.

 

 

Chris Wilson
Position: Midfield
Nickname: Willy

A limited performer last season due to work commitments, he is now fully committed to the Chishill cause. A dependable hard-worker who is comfortable in defence and midfield. He is still remembered for a remarkable debut that score him score twice but still end up on the losing side in a 6-5 defeat. Also has the dubious honour of being Jamie Dunsden’s cousin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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David Lindsay
Position: Midfield
Most likely to say: ‘-age’ at the end of every word.

Brought in to add depth to the squad, his height and strength could yet see him establish himself as a major target man this season. He is returning to football after a lengthy lay-off, with his prime goal ‘to get fit again’. He is also an Airsoft competitor, although his team-mates will hope he can bring some sharp-shooting to the forward line.